Practice & Promote GENDER Equality

If we look back into our history most of our past generations lived in a patrilocal society where the newly married couple stays with Men’s family; in a patriarchal family system men exercise authority and decision making. So after the marriage the women has to leave her parents and should be living with her husband’s family.

Let’s see few phases of common INDIAN women…

1) She has to fight the female foeticide (killing of female baby) before birth

2) If she win’s the first battle; she will start seeing the gender in-equality in

À The health care facilities,

À Educational opportunities,

À Home related work and

À Many other Myths/paradigms like GIRLS has to do that, they should not do that etc.

3) When she is ready for marriage, Parents just show the photo and tell her to marry that person, she hardly knows about him; off course she is grown in an environment where she never questions many things, so as in her partner’s selection. Bride’s parents needs to give money to the Bridegrooms parents based on Bridegroom’s social, economical status. If the Bride’s parents are economically poor they select a guy just to feel like “They completed their Responsibility”.

4) After marriage she won’t be self-reliant; she has to completely depend on her husband. Many times the relation withstands with the financial and social insecurity of women rather than love between them. She has to take permission from her husband even to visit her parent home. She cannot financially support her parent any more. She is more or less restricted to home.

This is the same practice even now.

For financially weak families “Bringing Up a daughter is like watering a plant in another’s courtyard”.

The family head thinks like,

À His daughter will be going to another’s home.

À He needs to give lot of dowry

À She will not take care of them after her marriage.

To my understanding at this point of time, this is what “the financially weak family head” thinks.

It is the responsibility of the society and the government to eliminate this kind of in-equality.We have 47 % female population with 937 females for every 1000 males. If we see the earning female population is very less which directly means they are not self-reliant. The girl enrollment in the educational institutions is very relatively less to that of their population. IMR of female baby is more than boy baby.

I would like to summarise all the above mentioned points in two sentences

Our History of patrilocal Social Structure and Dowry system.

Every one want changes in the way things work, but many feel that they cannot do any thing.

But in the GENDER equality issue, you as a person can do things which would bring the change you want.

=> If you are a bachelor honestly reject Dowry

=> If you a newly married man of non-self reliant wife,

=> First make her self-reliant before you make her mother and

=> Practice ways which actually allows your wife to take her parents responsibilities in need.

=> If you are a Father of a Girl child, give them proper education and health facilities and make them self-reliant then do their marriage.

A relation has to sustain with love and not with insecurity.

Change is just in your hands.

Thanks for reading

Yogesh Thandava.

Fight Social Injustice with a team

When I was in intermediate (10+2)

During my practical exams-viva I was asked unusual questions.
Examiner: Do you tease girls in your college?
Me: No Sir.
Examiner: Do you tease lecturers in your college?
Me: I was Silent.
Examiner: What is your attendance %?
Me: More than 97 % Sir.
Examiner: How many marks you got in Chemistry?
Me: 60/60(Q), 60/60(H), 60/60(Pre)
Examiner: Then why is your name in this list

Me: I was Silent.

Then he asked me two questions related to my experiment; asked me to leave the room.

@ The back-end the history is:
During the practical examinations, my name was in 20-25 marks list (max marks were 30 and 60 to 70 % of folks will be in the 30/30 list) It was not surprising to me to know that my name was in that list being the college topper (Note: Only twice I secured 2nd Rank, I would say I left the first Rank it to save one relationship),
Because I was expecting the scenario much before, when I raised my voice against the Management for collecting extra bus fee from the students. My dad warned about my straight forwardness around 3 times in the same year;

When I was in engineering
We were successful as a class in opposing a big organization like GITAM for its unethical imposition of fines and impossible practices. I have two acknowledge two persons here (Sandeep and Murthy) who stood ahead of us.

@ The back-end the history is:
We have few guys, who were ready to take any challenges
Good unity in our class.

During my NCC ‘C’ Certificate Exam results

I was surprised to know that I did not clear the EXAM.
(That was the first exam I failed in my 15 years of education till then) It was even big surprise to the other Cadets who did NCC along with me.

@ The back-end the history is:
I got 44/50 in the drill exam
I am confident that I wrote the exam well.
But I raised the voice against my ANO (Associate NCC Officer) for asking bribe.
But the fact is I was the only guy who raised the voice in front of him.

If you see the 3 incidents,
Every where the problem is for my society along with me, the society is not at all happy; but in intermediate and during NCC exam, I tried to fight alone for the entire society. And the System thought that, I was the only guys who had the problem, and the system want to get rid off me.
Where as during my Engineering Days, I was part of a very vibrant team which opposed the injustice.

So what I am trying to say from the above 3 incidents, is;
If you want to fight the social injustice, never ever try to go alone, find out the people who are impacted unite them fight along with them; success rate would be relatively more in this approach. Prepare the team for the worst possible outcome before they start the fight.

Few people would say that, why should I care if some other face the injustice,
Because we are living in an inter-related society, so the impact of injustice will reach you one day.